When It Looks Like You’ve Got It All Together (But Don’t)

I saw this post from one of our Stride Forward alums and immediately thought—yep, that’s me too:

“High-functioning anxiety basically means I get things done while mentally spiraling in the background.”

That line hit me hard.

The truth is, I never really understood what anxiety was—even though “she’s” been with me my whole life. I thought it was just how I operated: tightly wound, always prepared, never letting anyone see me sweat. It wasn’t until I read this post and started doing deeper work on myself that I could finally call it what it was. And wow—what a shift.

One work moment that still gives me heart palpitations: I was working in a PR agency, racing against a brutal deadline to finalize a client pitch. We were sitting around a conference table tossing out last-minute ideas (this should’ve happened a week earlier—hello agency life). Outwardly, I was contributing, smiling, calm. But inside? I was spiraling. “This is a disaster. We’re not ready. I can’t do this.” 

Then it happened—I had an actual out-of-body experience, looking down on myself from above the room as I delivered the pitch, perfectly polished and professional. My body took over. I said the right things, hit the right tone. People thought I was calm and collected. But it took everything out of me. I went home, collapsed, and needed two full days to recover. No celebration. No self-congratulations. Just exhaustion.

It’s taken time (and coaching, and awareness) to start recognizing those red flags. Now, I notice when my breathing tightens. When my brain fog sets in. When I freeze. And I know I need to pause—step outside, do slow breathing, or use the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method. Anything to shift from panic to presence.

Coach Jenn